Serendipity
by 42Nico
Summary: 'Play, rewind, 1, 2, again–' A boy who's trying to find a world where someone can see him. A girl who's trying to run away from the world that wants her to be a part of it. A wretched series of chance meetings, a forgery in fate, and a careful manipulation of the impossible– this is a story of how their worlds merge into one, and they become the center of everything. [Kise/OC]
1. echoing silence

**Nico:** I'm currently rewriting this story so yeah there are a few revisions here and there but not anything major. I'm just going to make a few things clearer and easier to comprehend, haha.

In any case, I do hope you'll enjoy this.

* * *

 **.**

 **Serendipity**

 **.**

* * *

The blinding rays of the sun between the clouds and the mountains and buildings. The cold breeze of the morning that sipped through his uniform. The greetings flew around – _"Hey!" "Good morning." "How are you?" "Hi!" "Hell—"_ – some are low like secret messages, others are loud like the blaring horns of the city's traffic – as he passed clumps of dark-haired teenagers, mostly girls, turning once or twice, but he walked on with hands in his pockets, his shoulders slightly slouched, bored and uninterested.

This was always the beginning of Kise Ryouta's everyday life. Repetitive like a broken record – _play, rewind, play, rewind, 1, 2, 3, again, play, rewind_. A gift, some would say, ( _"How does it feel to have girls dropping their panties for you every single day, man?"_ ), but it seemed more like a never-ending curse ( _"A-Ahaha… That's too much…"_ ), if you asked him.

Everyday was the same; everyday never changed. When he reached the school building and to the shoe lockers area, he'd be greeted with smiles – smiles that were mostly false and synthetic and just _fucking_ ugly, and, _God,_ he never really got used to them. This was the effect of the illusion they all had about him – the illusion that Kise Ryouta of the Generation of Miracles and Kise Ryotua the Model had created and installed into their minds. They were a part of him, but they were not the Kise Ryouta who wanted to be left alone and not be dictated on how to put up an act, give them same false smile, and greet them with an imitation of a movie star.

 _'Play, rewind, play, rewind, 1, 2, 3, again, play, rewind—'_

* * *

 **i.** ( **April 14** )

"... You'll be partnering with your seatmates for this assignment and—"

Another assignment. _Great._ He glanced at his seatmate. Black hair, brown eyes, and fair skin. An average-looking girl, with an average life and everything perhaps, he thought, but seeing her every day since the very first day of school, her most defining trait would be her books and how she always seemed to have a world of her own.

A bookworm. Yes, a bookworm. Her nose was always in between those pages, eyes always on those words, and face as unreadable as the book in her hand. (Today, she was reading an English book. He couldn't read the title, her fingers were blocking it.) She never talked to their classmates, or rather; she never had a proper conversation with anyone, actually. No friends; just her and her books.

Maybe he could work with her. _Maybe_. He didn't know. How do you talk to someone who never talked to anyone before?

Now that he thought about it, not once had they spoken with each other. She had always been there, and he in his seat. Nose between her books, and him with whatever that could possibly take his boredom away. They were simply sitting next to each other, something that only happened by chance, and nothing else. There wasn't exactly a wall between them - it was just him and her and the small space that separated them a bit.

And what was her name again? It was something with _shi_. Death...?* _No_ , he couldn't call her like that.

' _Shi... Shi...'_

"...i Shizuka! Stop reading and pay attention!"

 _Shizuka_. Yes, _that_. An old name, but it had a nice ring to it. It also suited her well. Calm and quiet, like she had always been with her books. Calm and quiet, in her own little world.

At least, that was what he thought about her, because when she stopped, a momentary pause in her breath, when she put down her book, a noiseless movement, when she looked at the teacher, a slight ray of sunlight hitting her eyes, there was a change; a change that could only be noticeable when you were always sitting next to her, when you always looked at her and her books, that the calm and quiet girl suddenly had that silent ferocity, a silent intensity that made her eyes burn for a moment, a moment that was so confusing and certainly puzzling about someone who only had books and her little world, and—

"Yes, sensei."

In a blink of an eye, she was, once again, _Shizuka_. Calm and quiet; her voice devoid of any hint of emotions and she went back to reading her book. A silent rebellion. A silent defiance and a silent _'fuck you and your rules.'_

And for that, she would be staying at school after their classes, because their teacher saw her again but she simply ignored him.

He was lost for words.

 **.**

In the end, they didn't get to do the assignment.

Kise went to the gym for basketball practice.

* * *

 **ii.** ( **April** **20** )

Basketball practice had already ended, and Kise was now at the train station to head back home. He didn't skip practice today - they were going to have a practice match against Seirin, and that was the school Kurokocchi went to. (Soon, he'd be facing him with their oaths on the line, with their pride as an athlete and as the members of the Generation of the Miracles.) Everything was back to their gray colours, everything was too stale, too dull, too boring, and just so, so frustratingly lifeless, and ' _gods, this is really fucking tedious'_ and just—

"Ah—!"

A silent thud; he had stopped abruptly, and the person behind him hit against his back. There was a quiet voice, and somehow, he knew who it was, and he turned around to see her eyebrows furrowed, her lips in a slight frown, and, _yes_ , it was—

' _Shizuka.'_

Shizuka with her book, of course, and _no_ , this Shizuka right now was the girl with her silent ferocity and her eyes saying _'this fucking idiot'._ He hadn't seen anyone looking at him like that, not for this _long_ that he almost felt as if her eyes were trying to arrows and bullets straight into his skull. And Shizuka was a _girl_ , and girls always looked at him with eyes filled with their fantasies and fairy tales and him taking them into their once-upon-a-times and happily-ever-afters, so he—

"S-Sorry," he blurted out. He didn't mean to stammer, but she had that look of a man who was ready to cut him down.

There was silence – the kind of silence that came after something relatively weird, or if you could even consider what happened to them was _weird._ He didn't like it; mostly because she was just staring at him – the tension could no longer be traced on her face – yet the way her eyes were just looking and simply looking at him like he was a puzzle that she was trying to solve, a mystery she was trying to uncover, a book she was trying to understand, and it was starting to get unnerving, and, _shit_ , what the fuck was going on in his chest? And was it just him or was it getting hotter there? He could sweat forming on the side of his face, and the crowd hadn't started gathering – there were still a few people around them – but, seriously, what was going on? Why was she not speaking? Was there something on his face? Or, well, maybe he should turn away now and walk away like nothing happened, or—

All of a sudden, she bolted up, her eyes lighting up slightly, and asked, "You're my classmate, right?"

He paused. He was taken aback right there – was that the _only_ reason why she was staring at him? That she was trying to think if she met him somewhere before, trying so hard to look back into her daily memories in school just so she could somehow try to find out if her guess was true or not? Well, she wasn't wrong about that – they are, indeed, classmates, but—

"Don't you recognize me?" he said, pointing to himself, clearly appalled. "I'm your seatmate!"

 _That_. And he knew her name, too. Not her full name but he, at least, knew something about her, that she was the girl with the books, the girl with her own little world, and she probably didn't even know that, too.

It was just that they had been sitting next to each other for about a month now, but she didn't even know he was her seatmate?

"You are...?" Again, she asked, her head tilting to her left, looking honestly confused. "And your name is...?"

' _Is she for real?'_ "I'm Kise Ryouta!" he exclaimed in disbelief. "You don't really recognize me?!"

"Nah," she leaned back and shrugged. "But, I do now, I guess."

He grimaced. Clearly, this wasn't what he would be expecting in dealing with Shizuka. He was thinking of something more calming, quieter, a little subtle, or even her silence would be the only thing he would get from her, but—

He forgot the part wherein Shizuka and her books and Shizuka with her own little world would be more than any of those. Those were the versions of her that he had seen after seeing her in her own world. The Shizuka of _this_ world was someone he hadn't known.

"Well, I'll be going now."

She was about to leave, turned away from him, but almost as fast as she took one step forward, his hand grabbed her arm and made her stop on her tracks. She turned back, and he didn't let go of her even after he asked what could possibly be the most idiotic thing he could ever ask to a girl or to any person, which was—

"You won't forget me, won't you?"

And, in that moment, she was someone else. She wasn't the bookworm or a person with her own little world. Shizuka was then a girl who smiled at him, and, he – _well_ – he liked it. He liked the way her smile was at _him_ , liked the way she didn't smile because he wasn't Kise Ryouta the Model or Kise Ryouta of the Generation of Miracles, but simply, just simply, he was Kise Ryouta and nothing else.

He liked it, this variation of Shizuka.

"'Course, I won't forget!" she said, cheerful and her smile still in motion. "After a cheesy line like that, I sure won't!"

She laughed, and even though she said that, he knew she laughed with the absence of mock and pretence. She laughed, and it was with innocence and honesty, and maybe, just _maybe_ , a little bit of him.

* * *

 **iii.** ( **April** **21** )

The next day, Kise couldn't bear with what happened last night.

" _You won't forget me, won't you?"_

Dear lord _,_ did he actually say _that_? And with a straight face, too? Gods, he must have really sounded so, _so_ stupid. And cheesy. Super cheesy. ' _Oh, god.'_ What the hell was he thinking anyway? He couldn't just go around and acting all princely like some character from a _shoujo manga_ , because this was real life, and in real life, those kind of things were impossible and absurd and just plain stupid or even _insane_. He might have been popular with the ladies, but he didn't like doing stuff such as getting all mushy and going all dramatic and—

 _Shizuka_. ' _She's here.'_

Like the usual, she came into their classroom while reading a book. Somehow, she managed to navigate her way to her seat without looking up from her book and bumping into anyone else. (It was amazing, really – it must have been a skill or something she developed from always, always reading those books.) She seemed as normal as she had always been – she just sat on seat, put her bag on the side of her table, and—

When she was supposed to keep on reading like the norm, she paused and turned towards Kise. He was a bit surprised – he kind of saw that one coming but he never fully expected that she would _actually_ do it. She kept her eyes on him – she was scrutinizing him, like what happened yesterday, and after a few seconds, she finally spoke.

"What's your name again? I, uh, kinda forgot."

Her and her _"I won't forget"_. What was he even contemplating about again?

"Not telling ya," he grunted, looking away. "You said you won't _forget_."

She let out a sigh. "I'm not good with names, actually." She propped her chin on her hand. "Is your name somewhere near 'cheese'?"

He snorted. Cheese? Really? That wasn't even close. He would've agreed if it was the word 'kiss'. Not that he was implying anything, of course.

And to that, she took it as a 'yes'. "Cheese, then? Alright, I'll call you Cheese-kun from now on."

Seriously, this girl was getting way ahead from her supposed character. Where was the calm and quiet Shizuka from days ago? Ah, well, perhaps this was another variation of her.

(The Shizuka of this world was completely different from the Shizuka in her world.)

"... It's not cheese. It's _Kise_."

She seemed surprised, one of her eyebrows was arched, but she brushed it off.

"Well, 'Cheese' is better. I'll call you that from now on," she was grinning, playful and child-like. (Definitely another variation of Shizuka, he confirmed. How many of her was here anyway?) "Plus, it also suits you. From what you told me yesterday, that is."

" _Wha-_?!"

(And he didn't know if he'd ever get used to her constantly changing and not being as predictable as he thought she would be.)

* * *

 **iv.** ( **April 25** )

"Cheese-kun, can I ask you something?"

"… Yeah. And it's _Kise_."

"Where were you when we were supposed to do that assignment the other day? I waited for you."

"Wait… You _did_? I, uh… I went to basketball practice."

"Hm… Oh, well. Doesn't matter anymore."

"Yeah…"

 **.**

( **April 27** )

"Are you going to eat by yourself?"

"Yeah. Wanna join me, Cheese-kun?"

"… It's _Kise._ "

"Yes, yes."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Are you just going to stare at my food? Where's your food anyway?"

"… I only had bread and milk. I'm on my diet."

"What are you like, a high school girl?"

"I'm a model, _okay_?"

"You are…? Oh. Well, good for you, I guess? You still need to eat more, though, Cheese-kun. Here, have some."

"...Thanks…? Uh, how many carbs does this—"

" _Please_ just eat it."

* * *

 **v.** ( **April 30** )

"What are you reading?"

Somehow, they started having random conversations with each other. Shizuka, with her books and her own little world, became one of the people he'd talk with. It was kind of weird – to him, _that is_ – because it was always him who always started the small talks and random questions about her. He didn't exactly know why, though; he'd just find himself wondering what she was reading or what was going on in her mind. To him, she was an enigma; a puzzle he had been trying to put together, but something in his mind would tell him that _'no, this isn't her, this isn't what she's thinking about.'_

She looked up at him; lips set in a straight line, and her eyes were as unreadable as the look she was giving him that made him wonder _more_.

"An extremely sappy love story," she answered, and there was a slight twinkle of amusement in those brown eyes. "Possibly cheesier than you, Cheese-kun."

He grimaced at the last line. But, curious and a bit incredulous, he asked, "A love story?"

"Yep," ( _1, 2, 3— 1, 2, 3— Thump, thump, thump—_ ) this time, she answered with a slight smile that reminded him of the Shizuka from that night. ( _1, 2— Thump—_ ) "A love story. Why?"

Kise looked away. ( _1, 2—_ ) "I just thought you'd be the type who reads mystery novels. Like Sherlock or something."

"I do like reading those kinds of books." She leaned back and looked up, seemingly pondering about something – perhaps the books she had read so far, he tried to guess from the way she tapped her fingers on the table and her foot swinging in some tune – and finally, she turned her eyes back to him. "But I guess I like romantic books more."

( _1, 2, 3— 1, 2, 3—_ ) "Why?"

He was thinking about her shrugging it off or her simply saying _"I dunno, I just do, I guess"_ or her simply ignoring his question, because that was her, right? That was Shizuka, the girl with her books, and the girl with her own little world, the silent waves of the ocean, predictably unpredictable, but she—

"It's love, I guess," she said, and she was so distant that she seemed to be walking into a world that wasn't hers or anyone's. "That love will always be there, anytime and anywhere— that you can even find it in the most unexpected of places."

And then, another Shizuka smiled at him. "Don't you think that's amazing?"

( _1, 2—_ )

Truly, he thought, she was inscrutable; possibly a mystery he'd never, ever solve.

 **.**

"And you say _I'm_ the cheesy one."

"Well, cheesiness is, in fact, relative, Cheese-kun."

"It's _Kise_."

* * *

 **Nico:** So yeah I added the dates and a few details that you probably didn't notice LOL


	2. the inevitable

_Thank you guys so. so much for the reviews, favorites and alerts!_ _  
_ _Again, reviews and comments are loved._

* * *

 **.**

 **Serendipity**

 **.**

* * *

 **i.** ( **May 1** )

Right after their Math class, lunch soon came, and students started pouring out of their classrooms. Some were grouped in pairs or in three's while others chose to be by themselves. Only a few were left in the rooms, and—

"What do you have for lunch?"

Kise moved his chair closer to Shizuka to get a better look on her lunchbox. The girl paused from reading, her eyes switching from the words '... _I knew where eternity, our hearts and our souls all lay...'_ to connect with his eyes. He looked away in response — _when did it get this hard to look into someone's eyes?_ — and proceeded to stare at the food on her table. They were colorful, he noticed — a neat array of white, yellow, red, pink and green — and, somehow, he thought she made this. And, he—

"Would you like some?" she asked, smiling and a bit teasing. "I made it so I can't guarantee the taste."

He blushed in embarrassment. Was he that obvious about it or—?

"T-This tastes too good! You really made this?!"

"Yeah. I'll cook for you, if you like."

"Sure! As long as you cook the food, I'll eat it!"

She laughed, and it rang in his ears like waves crashing down on a shore.

And from there, from that short conversation, from this serenity and her he thought—

' _Shizuka would be a good wife.'_

 **.**

"Are you okay? Your face is all red."

"No, I'm fine! A-Ahaha! Anyway, can I have more of those egg rolls? They're really—"

* * *

 **ii.** ( **May 5** )

In this world, some things were inevitable, and one of them was change. One way or another, it would happen no matter how much you resisted it. It would find its way into you, crawl into your veins and your bloodstream and bring out what could be the best or the worst thing from you, leaving marks or scars that anyone could interpret however they wanted.

But how could changes happen in such a short time?

"You look depressed," Shizuka asked, her book was now closed and her attention diverted to him. "Did something happen?"

Kise let out a sigh. Shizuka, who he found in a book store (of course, that place was a bookworm's natural habitat), was now walking with him on their way to the station.

"Well—"

As soon as their classes ended, he went to Seirin to check on his former teammate. It went pretty well - if you exclude the fact that girls started flocking around him ( _God_ , he almost couldn't feel his legs after that), Kurokocchi rejected him, and a rookie suddenly challenged him into a short battle. He had to admit - the rejection did hurt a bit. He was half-serious about what he told Kuroko, that he wanted to play with him again, wanted to be his teammate again, but he rejected his offer. He even told him he didn't consider him as a best friend, and, _hey_ , who wouldn't get hurt when the person you thought of as your closest friend didn't consider you as one?

Not only those but Kuroko Tetsuya wasn't the same guy he knew back in middle school. He changed, and it was drastic that it was almost as if he couldn't recognize him anymore. There was something about him, something that reminded him of Shizuka's silent ferocity; the silent defiance which told him _"nothing can stop me. Not even you or anybody else."_

Then, there was that guy called Kagami. _'The nerve of that guy'_ – he thought he could actually beat him? He couldn't care less about him being a beginner - he got his head above the clouds too much. This was reality, and no matter how much he struggled, he would still be far below him.

And to think he was the one who made Kuroko turn against him, Kise would definitely crush him with everything he got.

"Wow," Shizuka said, repulsed by what he told her. "Aren't you an arrogant kid?"

" _What?!_ " Kise almost whined. "I'm the one here who got rejected, and you think _I'm_ the bad guy?!"

She shrugged her shoulders and looked up. "Not really. More like _you're_ the one here who's got his head above the clouds too much."

He crossed his arms and huffed his chest. "And why is that?"

"Okay, first of all—"

She walked ahead of him; her pace was suddenly faster than him despite being considerably small in height. Even though he was getting lectured, he thought it was kind of amusing to watch; she was trying too hard at this when she really didn't have to.

"You gotta accept that changes happen all the time."

"I know that," Kise retorted. "But how can it happen so fast?"

Shizuka looked up for a while; her pace was slowing down as she pondered about it. "Well, I don't know exactly but—"

Her eyes turned towards his, and she was now walking beside him. "Changes are so dynamic that every little action we take causes some kind of reaction."

"Reaction...? Like chemistry?" he asked a bit doubtful and amused at the same time. "Are you going scientific on me now?"

"Idiot." She poked his side, and he jolted up. That was the weak part of his body – how did she even know about _that_? "What I mean is that reaction creates an entirety of possibilities that could happen anytime."

"So? You mean even if I think of anything right now, it will change something about me?"

"Yep. Even when you want something, you change, too."

Was that how Kuroko changed? When he said he promised Kagami that they would defeat the Generation of Miracles, it drove him to take drastic changes?

In some sense, it was scary – changes always had this kind of effect, huh? But, despite knowing that, he thought it was good. It would be good if he, too, changed even for a bit.

"You can use some of that change, too," Shizuka grinned, cheery and somewhat mischievous like a Cheshire cat. "It's free."

He arched an eyebrow. Him…? Change? _'How?'_ "Example?"

"Um... Let's say you start taking note of your teammates!"

"Taking note?" he asked, sceptical but not agitated, and a bit surprised by what she suggested. "What do you mean?"

"Take note of their abilities, their personalities, or even the things they do. Just by doing those, you'll change little by little!"

He didn't quite understand that. How could those change him when he was already better than them? In what way could they affect him?

"You are the ace, aren't you?" she said, positive and cheerful. "You're like the pilot who will take them to victory, so I think you should do it!"

The _ace_.

Wasn't he the ace just because he was the best one in the team? Wasn't he assigned to that position because he was far more skilled than the seniors? He couldn't see the point of it. Why bother with those things anyway?

"But, don't let it get into your head."

Taken aback, he paused from walking. "What?"

She turned, half of her was facing him with her black hair falling from her shoulder blades. There was a strange look on her face – something that was so distant yet familiar, ordinary yet unusual. Something told him he had seen this before – this look of knowing nothing and absolutely everything.

And, "If you take things for granted, you'll find yourself crying sooner or later."

Kise blinked for a bit before he let out a laugh. Did she even experience them? With her books and her little world, how could she even know about those things?

"Like that will happen," he smirked nonchalantly.

"Well, who knows?"

Then, Shizuka smiled, and it was the kind of smile that knew something; something that had to do with him and everything else in her own little world but she, of course, would only let him guess and think and speculate whatever he wanted until there was so much to learn and he would only get himself lost and wandering in nowhere.

"You know what 'Lao Tzu' once said?'Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.'"

For the very last time (and there won't be another one, hopefully), he gave up.

"Alright, alright. I'll think about it."

* * *

 **iii.** ( **May** **10** )

" _What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person."_

It was nearly 2:30 in the afternoon, and their substitute teacher went out early today (their actual teacher was out cold and won't be back for two more days.) Since they still had twenty minutes before their next subject, most of the class began chatting with their friends or seatmates.

From what started at the simple question of _"What color do you like?"_ to _"Do you think black holes are space portals?"_ , their conversations took a new turn with Shizuka randomly quoting a line from one of the books she read, and every time, Kise would only end up staring at her. He wasn't disturbed or anything— her quotes were always thoughtful and simply beautiful, but— he was _confused_. He was puzzled and bewildered and just feeling utterly _lost_ for everything, because every time, his mind would just go through a passage of thoughts and images and memories that could somehow connect to her words, to her feelings and to her very core, and somewhere along the way, he would suddenly hit a wall and get stuck there without knowing what to do and where to go to next. Those words and letters would keep on playing on in his mind like a broken record, with him searching and searching for the answer without any idea of what is was, so _what is it? What is it, Shizuka, tell me, tell me, what is it? What is—_

"Is that from an English book?" he asked; a bit frustrated at his self for not coming up with anything smart to say. _God_ , he could've thought of something better than _that_. But—

Like always, she didn't mock him. Instead, she just smiled.

"Yes," she said, looking distant and dreamy. "The title is _Paper Towns_ written by John Green."

He propped his chin on his hand and said, "It's a love story, isn't it?"

She laughed, light with a bit of mischief. "Of course. Love stories are one of the best things in life, you know?"

And, in that question, Shizuka was, once again, a jigsaw puzzle that he wanted to put together. The pieces of her were scattered around them like the petals of a rose, so he tried to pick one up, place it on his hand, and—

"What is so amazing about love stories anyway?" he asked, seemingly nonchalant but careful not to break a part of her. "What do you like about them?"

Shizuka stared at him for seconds as if looking far beyond in his eyes, and she smiled as she found something in him. She brought out a pencil and a piece of paper and drew a stick figure on it.

"See this person? Let's say this is you," she said, pointing at the drawing. "You start from the 'you' who is made from facts and truths and opinions you were made to believe."

Then, she drew another figure just a few inches away from the first one. "Then, you meet this person," she looked up at him, and he to her, before she returned on the drawing and pointed her pencil on the newly drawn figure. "And somehow, you find a connection with them just by seeing the slightest change in the person you imagined them to be."

Carefully, she drew an arrow from the first figure pointing to the second figure. "That connection, however small or big it is, is what will draw you into them."

"Huh."

Weirdly enough, this was starting to confuse him more than ever. There was this wave of familiarity inside him that had been telling him, _"you know it, you already know about it, Ryouta, but—"_ then again, he couldn't point it out. What was it? When did this ever happen to him?

"From that point on, things just started getting, well, _magical_ ," she giggled at her own use of words as if she couldn't believe she was saying them out loud. "It's like you're bewitched. You are suddenly under this spell that causes you think about them all the time. Like when you're walking and when you're in the middle of a class, they just start popping into your mind. Even when you're eating or when you're taking a shower, you end up wondering what they're doing or what's going on in their mind.

"You even start associating them with the things you see. Like, um, for example, a flower. When you see a daisy popping from a sidewalk, the first thing you think about is that person."

She then started folding the paper, and Kise kept on watching her.

"And even the smallest of things they do will matter to you," he fingers glided across the paper which then turned into a wing. "Like when they smile, they look really pretty for some reason. When they look at you, you get this warm and fluttering sensation in your chest and in your stomach, and you start thinking of stuff about them and get embarrassed about it."

"To think that's just the first stage; falling in love can be one hell of a roller coaster ride," she said as she looked at him with wonder and excitement. In her hand, a paper airplane was formed. "It's one of the things I like about love stories, and there are much more amazing things about them."

She turned towards the window, pointed the paper airplane to the sky, and with one push, it began sailing gently along with the wind. With a grin playing on her lips and the sunlight tangled up with her hair and lost in her eyes, Kise found Shizuka the most beautiful. And—

'... _Shit._ '

Everything became clear to him.

* * *

.

(That is how Kise realizes that he is, in fact, in love with Shizuka.)

 **.**

* * *

 **Nico:** Edited. Hehe.


	3. play, rewind, 1, 2, again—

**.**

 **Serendipity**

 **.**

* * *

∞. ( **May 15** )

( _"So, this is where you are."_ )

"…and I was thinking that maybe you could—"

There was a momentary pause in her breath, a halt in her heartbeats, and the horrific, thunderous sound of the keys of piano smashed all at once. Her eyes became frozen staring only at the back of his broad shoulders— his golden hair covering most of his nape, the glint of the silver earring at his left ear, and his face half-turned towards her with the view of one of his eyes making its way to connect with hers. Her grip around the strap of her bag tightened, like clutching the rope around her neck, and she—

"—come to the game tomorrow…?"

(It stares at her; its eyes glowing like the moon in a dark sky. The corners of its lips curl up into a sardonic grin, and it asks—)

"Me…?"

( _"Are you not going to run away, little girl?"_ )

He smiled, and she looked away from him— her eyes turning down on her feet.

"Yeah! So…"

(It stretches out its arm and touches her cheek with one of its pointed fingers. It grazes its sharp claw across her skin, opening up her flesh; her blood comes flowing in a single line down to her lip. She tastes the iron in her mouth, the cold sensation on her tongue, and—)

( _"Are you going to stay?"_ )

"Will you, Shizuka?"

(As she swallows it, the red-colored liquid begins to stain through the core of her soul.)

(It wraps its arms around her body and nuzzles against her neck.)

( _"What will it be then, girl?"_ )

"I…"

She lifted her face up to see him and kept her eyes focused on his.

(Chains start to take form around her, and one by one, they go straight to her arms, legs, and finally to her heart.)

"I will."

(Once again, it grins.)

( _"Fool."_ )

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(Asters, a clearing in a green forest, the glitter of rainwater in the middle of sunshine, an echoing cry, a blur of black, " _Hello",_ a pale hand filled with cuts and bruises, a flash of sunlight, forget-me-nots, laughter ringing through the woods, bitter snow, warmth, fingers entwined, _"Goodbye",_ a field of red spider lilies, and—)

.

" _What are we going to look for anyway?"_

Once upon a time, in the blazing colors of fall, a little boy takes a little girl's hand and he declares—

" _An eternity together!"_

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 **i.** ( **April 3** )

 _5:30 AM._

Five hours had already passed when she woke up in the same room— the same morning breeze going through the white curtains, and the same scent of lavenders filling up the place. The ceiling painted sky blue with stars made of stickers glowing dimly in the dark. Papers scattered on the floor, ( _December 14_ ), different books opened in various pages, ( _"How did it get so late so soon?")_ , and pictures pinned on the wall. With an arm, she covered her eyes and let that familiar chilling sensation consumed her once more.

In a few hours, she would have to go to that place. In a few hours, she would have to go and see him.

( _"Don't you recognize me?"_ )

Slowly, she moved her arm away, and as she opened her eyes, as the memories of once upon a time crashed on her like roaring waves to the shore, Clair de Lune playing subtly in her ears, she took a deep breath before she got up from her bed and combed her hair back.

"Ah…"

She took a lock of her hair and stared at it for a few seconds. ( _"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes."_ )From the thick strands on the palm of her hand, her eyes traveled from the tips of her fingers, to the muddled patterns on her skin, to Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka of Orion* on her chest, and finally to her reflection upon the mirror standing a few feet away from her.

An average girl with the most average looks and the most average life— she laughed at herself. Who would've known, ' _right?_

At 5:33 A.M., when rays of sunlight peeked through the curtains of her window, Shizuka had already picked up the same book on that day and prepared herself for the rewind that was about to begin—

' _Again.'_

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 **ii.** ( **April 4** )

Today, she wore her hair in a braid. She didn't wear her glasses nor did she wear those contacts she bought from before. She held the book to a distance where she could still read the words written on its pages, ( _"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart."_ ), and walked on. Once or twice, she would bump into a couple of students, but she paid them no heed, not even the apologies, the glares, the mumbles, until—

"Ah—!"

She fell back from the sudden impact and dropped her book on the ground. When she was about to pick it up, her fingertip touched a hand that looked all too familiar, the same patterns on the skin that she traced one night, the dot on his arm that only she could see, so—

She didn't dare to look up, because she knew there would be lightning, and she would be paralyzed again, be rendered speechless, a sudden loss for words and for air; she would be unable to swim, be left to drown like she would be thrown in an ocean in the middle of a thunderstorm, because—

"S-Sorry—"

In a flash, she withdrew her hand. _'This wasn't supposed to happen.'_ She crawled away from him. _'You're not supposed to be there—'_ so she got up on her feet, and she—

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 **ii.**

Today, she tied her hair in a ponytail. She didn't wear her glasses, but she put on the contacts even though they hurt. There were tears in her eyes, and no matter how much she wiped them away, she couldn't stop them from flowing. She should've been used to this, should've been used to wearing them, but for some reason, she couldn't put them on properly. _'Stupid eyes, stupid tears, stupid, stupid—'_

But her eyes or her tears weren't the one to blame here. _You should've been used to this,_ she told herself, _you should've been brave enough for this_ , she scolded herself, _you should've just let it happen,_ she sat on the floor, _you should've just met him_ , she hugged her knees close to her chest, _you should've just talked to him, but—_

She let out a scream, and everything stopped.

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 **ii.**

Today, she let her hair down. There was no trace of a tear or a slight hint of emotion on her face anymore, the sparkle in her eyes was light reflected by the thin glass on the surface, and only silence remained as she walked with a book in hand, carefully navigating her way to their classroom.

When she entered inside, she already realized he wasn't there due to the lack of over-zealous girls clumped together and squealing over a guy at 8:30 in the morning. There were nothing but faces that she had already memorized, but they were people she never really knew.

From the beginning, she had always kept her distance from them; not because she was afraid, but because she thought connections was fragile— trust that was as thin as ice, and people who were dolls made of porcelain. All of them were glass; once they were shattered, you could easily put them together, but it would never be the same as before.

So she stayed with books, because words are eternal, and the connection made with them was something you could keep, like a picture that captured thousands and millions of colors blended together to form a beauty she could always go back to no matter how many times you had seen it.

And with books, she could hide the hole of that promise had caused in her heart, a void that could not be healed with anything, a beautiful nothingness that could only be fulfilled by a wretched series of chance meetings, a forgery in fate, and a careful manipulation of the impossible.

After a few more minutes before their teacher arrived, just as she was about to put her book down, the door to their classroom opened, and he walked in with the same look he always had on his face when people greeted him— smiling but never true, cheery but noticeably bored and indifferent if you had seen him that way for too many times. When he sat on his sit next to hers, she felt his golden eyes that watched her for a few seconds; seconds that were enough for him to know what book she was reading, seconds that were enough for him to know that she was Shizuka the calm and quiet girl, Shizuka with her books and her own little world.

"Raise your hand and say 'here' if you're present!"

And, once her name was called—

"Hibiki Shizuka!"

She raised her hand and said 'here'— not just an attendance, but also an acceptance that she would stay in this present and wait for the future to come again.

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* - Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka, aka Orion's Belt and the Three Kings/Sisters, are the three bright stars in Orion's constellation.

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 **Nico:** A little background about Shizuka so, uh… plot twist? _HAHAHAHAHAAA,_ for not updating in like months, this is what I give to you. I hope you enjoyed it.

 **Anyway, if you have any questions or comments, you can write them in the review box below or send me a private message! Thank you!**


	4. droplets and fragments

**Nico:** OMGGGG YOU GUYSSS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ALERTS, FAVORITES, AND REVIEWS! I can't thank you enough for everything! I really didn't expect much from this one, but I got positive feedback from y'all! Thank you so, so much!

By the way, I'm really surprised that one of you even shared their theories here! (Hi, **Multitules**! :D) I really love them, and it makes me so happy to see that my readers are really into this story! Again, thank you so much! In case you guys have your own ones, don't be afraid to share them! You guys are free to do so! :D Also, if you have any questions or comments, just leave them in a review or through a private message! :)

Anyway, I'm sorry for having such a long note here. Again, thank you, and here's the fourth chapter!

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 **Serendipity**

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Somehow, he found himself at the middle of a clearing in a forest.

He looked around, trying to find any sign of life, but there wasn't anyone but him standing in that place. Hanging above him was an ocean of blue and waves of white clouds with the summer sun blazing in the skies. Tall trees and bushes surrounded the place as if they where steel bars to keep him from going anywhere. There was no way that he'd be there— last time he checked, he was in his room trying to solve a math problem, so—

' _This is just a dream, right…?'_

Just as he took a step forward, a sudden rustle from the bushes startled him. He stopped for a moment, readying himself for anything that lurked behind him, and when he turned around, he found a little girl standing a few meters away from him.

"Hello," she said with a smile.

A wave of familiarity then washed over him as soon as he saw the little girl's smile. There was something about it that hit him close to the heart; that a long time ago, he had seen that small yet sweet smile more than a thousand times already. He had no recollection of meeting this girl in his life or any memories of ever seeing her before, but an odd, warm, and fluttery feeling in his chest kept him in a whirlwind of clarity and uncertainty that she did exist somewhere in his world.

' _Just—'_

"Who are you?"

The little girl paused, her smile decreasing a bit, seemingly surprised by his question, but it quickly turned into an amused grin. She let out a light giggle before she spun around, her long black hair swishing in the air like the feathers of a bird, and she said—

"Silly Ryou."

"What—"

Before he could even finish his question, the girl ran away and vanished straight into the woods. His instincts took over—

"Wait!"

He started chasing after the girl and headed straight into the forest. His eyes traveled one place from another, searching for any sign of a girl with long black hair in a little white dress. His breathing quickened— his heart thumping so loud against his chest, and his confusion only got worse as this feeling of loss and desperation and this paradox of inessential need to see the girl, to talk to her, and to have her answer questions he never even knew he had until that moment when she said—

" _Silly Ryou._ "

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"Settle down now, everyone! We have a new student who's going to join us today!"

Laughter and chit-chats soon died down as the teacher walked in front of the class. He found himself in a class of third grade students, and he was sitting in the exact center of the room. Only silence remained in the place, until the teacher spoke and ushered the new student to come inside the classroom.

One step forward into the room, and a black-haired girl was now walking towards the teacher. When she stopped right beside him and faced the class, he felt a pang in his chest as if lightning struck every nerve and muscle in his body.

For some unfathomable reason, he was immediately drawn to her like a moth to fire.

"I'm Hiraki Shion," the girl said; her voice was calm and quiet. (Something he found very familiar, like a song, a whisper to his ear that he had heard before.) "Please take care of me."

And after she said those words, she ended it with a small smile.

( _"Silly Ryou."_ )

All of a sudden, he bolted up from his seat as the sound of a distant voice rang in his ears.

"Kitano-kun, what's wrong?"

What was that all about? There was a voice just now… and ' _Ryou_ '? He began looking frantically around, searching for the source of the sound, and—

' _Just who was that?'_

"Ryouji-kun, is there anything wrong?" His teacher approached him. "What is it?"

Frightened, he backed away— _'Ryouji?'_ He looked at his hands, and little by little, cuts, scars, and bruises started growing like weeds and roots crawling on his skin. His breathing soon increased in a rapid speed— his chest kept on sinking and rising as he watched how the marks on his body grew and grew until they reached his face and into his eyes. His vision began fading out, so did his consciousness, and before he faded into the darkness, he saw the black-haired Hiraki Shion mouthed the words—

" _Silly Ryou."_

* * *

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"… _forget…me—_ "

Carefully, his eyes fluttered open, and his vision was soon filled with the blazing colors of the autumn sky. Letting out a groan, he got up from the ground and swept his hair back. He looked around the place— they were in a filled of asters painted with varying colors. In the light of the setting sun, it almost felt like he woke up to paradise. The cool breeze walking through the grass and the sweet scent of the flowers in his nose; it was almost as if serenity was in his hand, and—

"Ryouhei…?"

He turned to his right, and sitting right next to him was a girl with long, black hair. She was quiet, her mouth sealed in a straight line, but her eyes were a thunderstorm on a mid-summer afternoon. From the way she looked, he knew she had so much to tell and so much to ask, yet a calm smile appeared on her face, like some sort of reassurance to something he didn't know.

"How was your sleep?" she asked.

Warmth sparked inside his chest, and he found himself wanting to hold her hand, cup her cheeks, and kiss her lips until the sun bid them goodbye. And this was all strange— he didn't even know who she was. He didn't know her name, or anything there was to know about her. He didn't have a slightest idea about her or even her personality, yet—

"It was alright, Shizuku," he said, and he did it so naturally like her name was something that had always been attached to his everyday life. And he leaned in, like he was metal to magnet, until he connected his lips with hers.

" _You won't forget me, won't you?"_

In that very moment, he knew— her name, a drop of hope and rainwater, her voice, the lull of the ocean, and everything about her. That in the brink of dawn, when the sun was on its way to the sky, he found out that she had constellations on her body, various marks on places that revealed demons residing in her soul, and that the imperfections of a person make them so perfectly beautiful.

He knew he loved her, and it was something that would always come back to him no matter how much time took his memories away.

When he pulled away from her, she entwined her hand with his, and their fingers matched the spaces between them. He smiled so did she, and the rest of the world seemed to disappear away with only the two of them and field of flowers remaining at its very center.

"Asters, huh…?" she said as she stared at the flowers surrounding them. "I've always wondered why you gave me those."

"Remembrance," he answered. On their first month together, he wanted to give her something special, so he bought her asters she could grow. "In the flower language, it means remembrance."

She let out a small laugh, and asked, "So I won't forget you? Is that it?"

"Yes," he moved closer to her until their skin touched. "So you'll always remember me."

At his words, she remained still like something occurred to her. There was that storm in her eyes again, but as much as he wanted to save her from the cruelty inside her, she stopped him with the same calm smile that gave an illusion of assurance, and she said—

"I'll always remember you, silly Ryou."

Just then, thunder boomed throughout the place, and lightning struck on the ground and set them apart. He went blind from the sudden flash of light, and when he regained his eyesight, Shizuku was nowhere to be found. Gray clouds hovered over the field, and darkness consumed the remaining light from the sun.

Shizuku's disappearance caused him to panic, and he began yelling, "Shizuku! Where are you?!"

He took a step forward, and the violet aster beneath him turned into a red spider lily. He gasped in shock and fell back, and the asters within his touch changed into clusters of red spider lilies. He tried to get up on his feet, but the lilies' petals grew and entangled with his limbs, pinning him on the ground to prevent him from escaping.

Within the blind of an eye, the field turned into what seemed like a sea of blood, and he was floating on the surface, paralyzed with nowhere to go. As tears were forming in his eyes, he watched how snow began falling from the sky, burying everything else in it.

One by one, his memories of her started to lose color— from the first day they met, the first day they held hands, the first day they kissed, and the first day they became one— and right before he lost her, he whispered her name and said—

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 **i.** ( **May 9** )

"Hey, I had a weird dream last night."

The warm spring breeze. Petals that fell from trees and scattered on the ground like drips of paint on a canvas. The colors of red and orange burning above, and the peach clouds roaming about like whales swimming in the sky. A black-haired girl walking right beside him— quiet with her books and her little world.

These all reminded him of bits and pieces of a dream he had last night. He couldn't remember most of it now, and he wished he did. They felt too important to forget— like something that he should remember in detail; something that he should burn into the very core of his mind. He wanted to remember his dreams as much as he did back when he was a child, when dreams were like movies in his head and how he could see them clearly. But as he gradually aged, dreams became more like a glimpse of another world he once took part of, and it was a reality that kept on slipping right from his grasp.

"… _remember me."_

"What is it about?" Shizuka asked as she sipped on her canned orange juice. "Please don't tell me it's about you being a Victoria Secret Angel."

"No!" Kise replied in protest. "This time it's about… a girl."

"Oh, that's a first," she said, sounding a bit surprised. "How is it weird? I think it's pretty normal for guys like you to dream about girls."

As they walked together, he looked down on his feet and kicked a pebble to her direction.

"Well, the weird thing about it is that girl keeps on running away from me."

She stopped for a second, giving him an incredulous look, before she kicked the pebble back to him and began walking again.

"Maybe it's because you were being a creeper in that dream," she said, laughing. "That or you were just too much for her."

"I'm not a creeper, geez," he kicked it to her again. "And I'm pretty sure I was being normal."

"But," she abruptly stopped, "that's the thing, Cheese-kun." He turned around to her, and she continued, "Your normal self is on a much higher level than most people."

"What do you mean?"

"Just by having those titles always attached to your name, you're already something else, and some people can't handle that. They feel like they have an obligation to match you or something. Like, you know…

She raised her face to look at him in the eye, and said—

"…To become someone worthy of you."

Only silence hung between them, and the wind rushed by, carrying petals of the cherry blossoms standing at her back towards him. Though her voice was calm and almost monotonous, there was something heart-wrenching about the way she said that last sentence like she knew things that he didn't. But he didn't question it; she'd probably just change the subject, so instead, "Then—"

He asked, "Why are you not running away?"

"Because I don't really care about any of those," she answered, simple. "I didn't befriend you because of your looks or your fame or anything…"

She started walking ahead of him, his eyes never leaving her form, and after a few more steps, she turned back and said, "The only thing I care about is this version of you I know, silly Ryou."

There was a ringing in his ears and an echo of a familiar voice, but it went away as soon as it appeared. He was a bit baffled at first; questions swarmed his mind like bees buzzing about. He ignored them for now, because the more important thing was—

"Wait, you just called me by my name _._ "

Her eyebrows knotted together in confusion until realization dawned at her, causing her eyes to widen. She turned away, possibly flustered, and began marching to leave him behind.

Of course, he followed her.

"It's okay to call me by my name, you know!"

"No. You _are_ Cheese-kun."

"You're probably getting tired of using that."

"You are the Lord of the Cheese!"

"Ryouta's easier to pronounce, _Shizuka._ "

"Wha-! You're calling me by my first name now?! We've barely known each other for a month!"

"That didn't stop you from calling me Ryou."

"... Touché."

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When she got back to her house, she ran straight towards her room and locked the door behind. She couldn't seem to focus on anything— her breathing was quickening, the sound of her heartbeat pounding against her chest, and her eyes wild with varying emotion ranging from shock, fear, wonder, joy, and finally to sorrow.

" _Why are you not running away?"_

Slowly, she slid on the floor and wrapped her arms around her body. She shook right there knowing this was the start of the inevitable, and thinking about it ached her so much that her nails dug deep into her skin on her back and blood came out of her wounds. Tears sprang from her eyes, and they trickled down on her face until they hit the word 'droplet' on a stray book beneath her.

There was a sudden pause in time, and with a bloodied hand, she traced the word across the surface of the paper, letting the red fluid soak through.

 _'Shizuku', huh…?'_

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"Ah, that was my name back then."

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End file.
